


Why Supergirl’s Kara deserves a male “Iris” in her life

by DCMeta



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21718588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DCMeta/pseuds/DCMeta
Summary: Why Supergirl’s Kara deserves a male “Iris” in her life and why we should get to see it.
Relationships: James "Jimmy" Olsen/Kara Zor-El, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Kara Danvers/Querl Dox, Kara Danvers/Winn Schott Jr.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Why Supergirl’s Kara deserves a male “Iris” in her life

**Why Supergirl’s Kara deserves a male “Iris” in her life**

1.) It’s not feminist to make a female character sexless

If you look at the history of feminism, you will notice that a lot of it points out the patriarchal desire to lock down and curtail and fear female sexuality. There is a reason there is this stereotype of the virginal Joan of Arc like heroine. If a woman is gonna “encroach” on male territory by being a powerful hero, then she better be sexless or better be like “one of the guys”.

God beware she also might like girly stuff like liking romance or, oh noes, kissing dudes.

So no, writing a powerful female character who does not have a male love interest is actually a lot less subversive than one might think. One might try to claim that it’s freeing the character from the burden of being connected to the female stereotypes of romance, but actually it’s just another way of making the characters more palatable by conforming more to male stereotypes of heroism.

(it should be noted that there is nothing wrong with an asexual lead character, but considering that we have already seen Kara express interest in and pursue relationships previously, I’m excluding this option here for now)

2.) It does not make a character weak to have romance in their life

Once more, a long standing narrative has been to use “woman” and “emotional” as interchangeable (up to concepts like “don’t be a girl” when a man displays what is deemed too much emotion for a man), to label emotion as bad.

This in short is BS and should not be bought into. Supergirl itself has made much of how Supergirl’s caring is her biggest strength and how she draws strength from the emotional support she receives.

Why should romance be painted with a different brush here? Why should that be the one type of relationship where it is not okay for her draw strength from? The hostility towards romance is in the end just another version of patriarchal hostility towards “too much emotion” and “girly stuff” and should not be bought into.

Because it’s BS.

3.) Romantic storylines provide an important contrast and additional flavor on action shows like Supergirl

There is a reason why the male led CW superhero shows have always had powerful romantic subplots, from Smallville, to Arrow, to Flash and even Black Lightning. Romantic relationships are a natural part of these heroes' lives. And frequently they produce decent amounts of the moments that end up on people’s Best Of lists.

Romantic storylines provide different types of story arcs, different types of dramatic tension and dramatic payoffs. They are a natural addition to a broad portfolio of storylines at a hero’s disposal.

They can be tragic and emotional when the show is otherwise light. They can be fluffy and light-hearted and romantic when the hero’s life is serious otherwise. They can show the hero vulnerable and in situations where their superpowers can’t fix the problem of changing somebody’s heart or attaining somebody’s romantic interest.

Particularly with how bleak and serious Supergirl has been recently, I for one think either a light-hearted story about Kara’s dating hijinks or a feel good story about Kara receiving love and support and romantic fulfillment even if her life outside of that is chaotic and tough would be beyond welcome.

Why should the amazing and versatile Melissa Benoist be kept from stories where she gets to flirt and seduce and be seduced and have sex and pine and have romantic heartbreak? Why should an entire subgenre of stories be kept away from her?

4.) A female love interest is not good enough

Some people might suggest to square the circle by giving Kara a female love interest. Here is why that is not good enough in my eyes. For one, it has been done before, at this point we have multiple active action heroines (like Batwoman, Alex Danvers, Thunder, White Canary) who have female love interests. Adding yet another does not cover any new ground. More importantly, in Supergirl’s context a female love interest is just skirting around the actual problem.

A male/female relationship where the woman is stronger, even if the strongest woman in the world is hard to do. It does not fit in our stereotypes of heterosexual relationships. It’s normal for the Irises and Loises and Felicities of the world to be the emotional rock of their big strong hero men. It’s a lot more taboo for a man to stand back at times and do the emotional work.

Putting Kara with a woman and making her essentially “the dude” of the relationship (and making her again more like "one of the dudes" if she pursues women, just like "the dudes" do) and again just casting a women again to do the emotional work in this relationship (because for a woman that is considered okay rather than something that makes her weak) is just actually defaulting back to standard gender roles rather than actually breaking the mold.

5.) Just because it is hard to do doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth doing. Just the opposite.

Yes, it’s hard to do relationships where the man is “lesser” than the woman. Less powerful. Less important in the hierarchy of the show. It’s not “sexy” for a man to maybe be cast more as the emotional support. Or rather: it’s _hard_ to make that sexy.

But that’s all the more reason for why it should be done, why it should be tackled. We are lacking in those images, in those stories that show that not only it is possible for a relationship to work where the woman is stronger and more important, but it can be just as exciting and hot and swoonworthy and dramatic as any story where the woman falls for the brooding sexy badboy or for the dashing day-saving hero.

I believe that Kara and James in season 1 showed that just inverting the genders of let’s say the traditional Clark/Lana or Barry/Iris in season 1 story is not enough to make people excited for a pairing. Relationships with strong heroine need to find their own voice, their own stories if they are to resonate with audiences.

This is where new ground can be broken. This is where real, powerful things can be achieved. This is where something real can be said about the world and how we relate to each other.

Men and women share this world. We relate to each other each and every day. There is value into creating new pictures and new stories for people to see themselves in or to compare themselves to. For example recent research suggested that many men find it stressful when women contribute more than 40% of the household income (read: if the women make more money) (Joanna Syrda1, Spousal Relative Income and Male Psychological Distress). So clearly this is an area where a lot could be achieved and where powerful and believable images could make a real difference.

And those stories exist in real life. In Germany a psychologist just released a book on the men and relationships of powerful business women (Conin-Ohnsorge, “Side by Side To The Top”). Just like there are relationships where the man is the emotional caretaker. These are real people with real stories and it would be worthwhile and new to take those stories and do them justice and make them interesting.

Conclusio

Whether you bring back Kara’s previous love interest James or Mon-El, or bring back Winn to give Kara and Winn genuine shot, or try to explore Kara’s traditional comic book romance with Brainiac 5 or whether you bring on somebody completely new, it does not matter. What matters is that Kara should have storylines of that type, because a kickass character like her, deserves her own version of Barry/Iris, Clark/Lois or Oliver/Felicity, deserves to experience the whole gamut of potential storylines, including romantic ones.


End file.
